Why Do I?

I have been online since 1994. I have been WRITING online since what seems like shortly after that. Blog entries, short stories, poems, wrestling promos, daily bullshit, and one fairly long term website about the beginnings of my battles with mental health. I wrote short entries that would make Seth Godin weep with joy due to how short they were. I wrote long entries that would make Homer proud – The Greek author, not the cartoon character, although I probably wrote some stuff he would have enjoyed as well.

I wrote about everything, and nothing, and in between. I wrote about my day at work, or about something that happened that day at school, or I wrote about a song I had been listening to that I liked. Ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad, things I liked, things I hated. I didn’t care. I wrote it all. I can only assume I would die of an embarrassment related heart attack if I ever put my name or any of my website names into The Archive.

Now that I have ensured that you want to go do that, go ahead. I can wait…..

Done? OK, good.

I know for a fact, that 90% of what I posted, ON THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE INTERNET, for all to see, was never seen. I do. Virtual guarantee. Even back then there were pageview counters, website statistics, and other ways to know if someone had visited your webpage. Same as those things exist today.

How do I know nobody read what I put out? I checked my logs, I checked my stats, same as anyone does today. The difference is, back then, I didn’t give a shit. The mere idea, that even if the information was public, that someone else gave enough of a crap to search me out and read some nonsense I was writing was absolutely preposterous to me. Frankly, it still is. There are some of you out there who I have known since back in those days, and plenty of you I have known since after. Back then, and honestly even now, I had such low self esteem that I pretty much figured that anything I was writing, publicly or not, was just for me, and nobody would care to find it.

That was fine with me. Until one day, it wasn’t.

I wish I knew what day that was, so I could find a way to strike it from the record, and to forget that day even happened. It may not have even been a specific day, it was more likely a gradual thing until it just finally clicked.

I cared. I cared, DEEPLY. I stopped writing if nobody looked. My style changed, my subjects changed, it was all different. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and occasionally, months turned to years – this specific blog included. Other blogs came and went, and several are just urls, with nothing there, because I had an idea, and then didn’t care enough to do more than a single post. I cared. Nobody read. I stopped writing. Still have no idea why.

Today, the internet is tremendously large, it is ridiculously larger than it was back in the mid nineties when I first began making an ass out of myself on it. Back then, there was absolutely no reason to believe anyone would read anything I had written, no matter what. Nowadays, there’s so much out there, that no matter what I am writing about, there’s someone out there that would want to read it, or someone out there who wrote something similar. Nothing is done for the first time on the internet anymore. That’s all the reason more to write it.

But I don’t. I don’t know why, either. I truly don’t. I wish I knew why I cared so damn much.

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Well Then…

Wow, it’s been a while. Whoops.

So, some things have changed. Business is on hold, and I went to school to get certified as a pharmacy tech to add to my portfolio of existing skill that I can use to find a job, to hopefully be able to put aside some money once we get a bit more on the top side, and restart the progress towards my business. This will return to a regular blog in the meantime, and I will try to update more often when I can. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Never Expect The Expected.

I figured at some point, there’d be a delay or two in keeping track of my efforts to get a business off the ground from the idea phase, and the documentation of it. I didn’t know when, or what it’d be, or how long. Well, it turned out to be now, a sick family (all four of us), and however long since my last post, let’s say about two weeks I think?

So yeah, not much done. I have a lot of the general stuff in my head, but now I’m thinking of a name. Since I’m not really getting readers yet, I’m not going to post a poll – not that I could, I haven’t told you all what the business is yet! I think that may be the next post, whenever that one comes…Thanks for reading!

Time Flies

So…

Finding a balance between spending time on your potential business and spending time with your family can definitely be an ongoing challenge. Especially when one of your kids is sick. (Hey, I said this was going to be about the whole process, didn’t I?) Conversely, not too much has gotten done in regards to the business. The actual business plan that I want to have done first is actually coming along, some changes have been made, but the spirit is still the same as when the wife and I first came up with the “hey, I wonder if you could do this?” idea came up, and I decided to give it a good shot. Hopefully soon I will be able to stop being so vague and actually start sharing some legitimate process.

The Brain Stirs…

No massive changes in the process yet, still have a lot of tuning to do. I have been doing research into similar businesses both in scope and location, to figure out pricing that will make sense, both for the service provided by the business I am working on, as well as materials and so on. There is definite potential for substantial cost up front for some of what I am working on, but that’s kind of how business works, isn’t it?

I realize this is going to get kind of weird without me actually revealing what the idea I am setting up actually is, but at this point the only thing that’s sure about the idea is the end part of what the business actually is – the early posts here are mostly about the journey TO the end of the start of it all. The creative process behind it all seems like it would be an interesting subject to me, hence the starting here. Any thoughts or comments?

New Project Emerges?

I know that it’s generally accepted as bad form to draw notice to the fact that it’s been forever since something was posted on your blog, but I’ve never really been one to do something on a blog just because it’s accepted. Yes, it’s been quite a while since I’ve written here. Honestly, I don’t feel like explaining why, either. So if you’re out there, thanks for stopping by after such a long time. If you’re new, HI!  Whatever.

So. I’m starting a new series here on my blog, and it will probably be a bit vague at first, because it involves the process that I’ll be taking to attempt to start a small business from idea generation to as far as I can take it, hopefully continuing into an actual launch. I guess we shall see how it goes. Wish me luck!!

What I can say up front is this: At this point, there aren’t tons of details to release since I don’t have 100% of everything fleshed out to the point where I am ready to start seeing the public viability, but what I am looking to set up is a particular theme of birthday party service for younger kids mostly, but I suppose it depends on the kind of people who are out there.

I ran the idea past my four year old, and she thought it was cool, so I am happy about that, at least.

Don’t Call It A Comeback

Courtesy Flickr Creative Commons Section
image courtesy Joe Lanman

So. It has been a while, hasn’t it? Time passes, that is one of those things that just happens, there’s no stopping it. I’ve been really terrible with time management over the past several months. Oh, hell. I just didn’t really have anything to say. Hopefully I will soon.